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Sal
18 June 2017 @ 12:00 pm
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Sal
16 June 2017 @ 12:00 pm
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Sal
15 June 2017 @ 12:00 pm
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Sal
14 June 2017 @ 12:00 pm
 
 
Sal
13 June 2017 @ 12:00 pm
  • Mon, 13:17: It feels so good to know you can come back from 5 months of no self-care. Came back from the gym today feeling the tides-a-turning. 🙏🏼💪🏽
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Sal
12 June 2017 @ 12:00 pm
  • Sun, 23:44: Measure of productivity this morning: bought soy sauce and sriracha for my office this morning. Gotta keep that chicken and rice diet going.
  • Mon, 03:48: Coffee is not gonna be my savior today. I'm two coffees and two espressos in and still feel like I could fall asleep at my desk.
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Sal
11 June 2017 @ 12:00 pm
  • Sat, 13:39: I'm at a crossroads–start drinking & reach out to my friends to come over to pregame OR put on sweats and refuse to answer my phone. 😏😴🤔
  • Sun, 03:05: I kinda wanna get a tattoo of the quote "What will you say at my funeral now that you've killed me?" #justhangoverthings
  • Sun, 09:02: @sasha_velour giving me life with this look! 😍Finally catching up on Friday's episode. Sending love all the way fro… https://t.co/GODTDPdbD5
 
 
Sal
10 June 2017 @ 12:00 pm
  • Sat, 01:34: Sometimes I wonder why I commit to things like going to brunch knowing damn well I'd be out until 4am.
  • Sat, 01:37: I'm gonna try super hard to have the strength to just get a salad or something and then come back to bed. 😣
  • Sat, 03:25: https://t.co/5i6kZAMdSR
  • Sat, 10:13: So am I doing it wrong or does steaming broccoli always make your apartment smell like ass?
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Sal
09 June 2017 @ 12:00 pm
  • Thu, 22:13: Finally got my Twitter back. 😂 Was locked out for the past 6 months for being in Helsinki and not having my original #.
  • Thu, 23:38: Real talk: feeling super guilty that I ate those enchiladas last night. 😂
  • Fri, 05:41: I judge how productive I've been on any given day by looking at my "Sent" folder on Outlook. #justprojectmanagerthings
  • Fri, 05:41: And for the record, I've been KILLING it today.
 
 
Sal
17 June 2015 @ 06:08 pm
It's a Wednesday night and I feel kind of weird because I've left work early the past two days. Work seems to be really slow. I feel like I'm probably screwing something major up, but I'm just kind of kind of hoping I'll wake up the next day with a miraculous proactive motivation that will help me feel accomplished or full of purpose. I got an internal promotion today as well, which is kind of contradictory to what I just wrote, but it's hard to explain. I feel live I've sunk into this functional depression. Kind of like what I had my senior year of undergrad, except this time I don't have the benefit of a rejection to blame it on. It's aimless. Like all my other bouts of depression, which for some reason I'm not equipped to handle. I'm doing well in my job. I have friends. I just feel empty.

I kind of want to get back into writing. But what will I write about? The gay man who is in love with a straight men and needs to learn self acceptance and self respect and stop pursuing an unreachable goal? Or should I write out the fantasy version where the straight man suddenly realizes that he can't live without the gay man and succumbs to him, mind, body, and soul and they live out the rest of their days in homosexual bliss? Part of me wants to write about the anguish, the pain, the longing, but it doesn't hurt that deeply anymore. It gives me a much wanted dilemma and gives me something to talk about.

What's the key to waking up in the morning? How do I find the appropriate way to fill my hours? Even the internet doesn't hold my attention for long because I've become too passive in it. I've accepted how miniscule an impact or an influence I can have in the millions of comments and words exchanged worldwide every minute. I fear no one will take me seriously and I find the bruteness of it all quite disheartening.

There was a time when I loved the internet. Every idea I had needed to be written down and put out there because there was a chance someone would read it and understand. The computer was my playground and I played around with my identity and explored new boundaries and transformed into a million different people. Now it's something I passively read and rarely participate in. I'd love to find a commmunity again. And make friends that push me to be better and do better.